Rural Racism

I was up north talking to a Realtor this summer and he began talking about a neighbour on his lake.  He began his sentence with two words I dread:  "those people".  I know where it's going as soon as I hear it.  He was referring to a  Portuguese family who have the nerve to build a cottage out of brick and invite 10 of their family members up from the city to enjoy it.

Another country person I know sent me an email that she was passing around promoting the troops in Afghanastan and suggesting if I didn't, I'd be a traitor to my county and should be charged with sedition.

Over this Christmas season, I received yet another email that was being passed around,  In fact, I recieved it twice, both from you guessed it, families who live in small (shall I say, white) communities.  After 6 weeks in Africa, I have even less tolerance for this kind of gibberish than I had before I left.

This new email refers to a statement apparently made by Anne Murray's manager, Bruce Allen.  I've met Bruce and know he is an outspoken man and I admit, his comments were out of order, but a more effective way of dealing with this would have been to ignore him.  In any event, the email expressed anger over the fallout from his commentary indicating immigrants to Canada should fit in or go home".

The author of the email goes on to say "I am not against immigration".  They got their nose out of joint because they heard somewhwere (who knows where) that "they" want to sing our National Anthem in Hindi.  Who are "they"?  "They" are not identified.  They go on to say immigrants should "have a job, pay their taxes, live by the rules".  The suggestion is the author does all of the above and we know that is simply not true.  They, like pretty much everyone else will avoid paying the GST should their mechanic accept cash for a tire change or some such thing.  Chances are, they don't even know the English words to the National Anthem.

So, shortly after receiving this gibberish, I get a very playful greating from a friend who loves words.  In fact, he's an English professor.  His politically correct and tongue-in-cheek greeting of the season is:

Please accept with no obligation (implied or implicit) my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great. Not to imply that our country is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only country in the Western Hemisphere. And, keeping in mind, of course, that if my assumption that one would prefer to be fiscally successful offends you, you may feel free to disregard that particular portion of this message, or at least modify it to better fit your personal definition of "successful." Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

Try calling a friend to wish them a Happy New Year and recite this greeting into his answering machine.  Chances are, they'll wonder if it's a joke or not.